Complicated Love Read online

  Once we arrive at Aunt Debb’s apartment, I don't say anything except thank you and get out of the car.

  It’s the day before New Year's Eve. I have to give Tim and answer. I know that I told Lane we'd talk about taking my relationship to the next level. But how can I talk to him? He left me at a party, so he could go do whatever with Rachel. I get it. Rachel should be his priority. I am just his friend. Believe me, I will never forget it. Ever.

  So, my answer is yes. I am going with Tim and his buddies.

  Lane

  Slone's house is packed. People are everywhere. They’re all drinking and you can feel the sexual energy flowing all over the place. I plan to just sit in my corner and lick my wounds tonight. I told my parents and gramps I'd crash here so I can keep an eye on Slone. He seems to be partying a lot more this holiday season.

  I am just glad Rachel hadn’t seen me yet. I saw her walk in with the rest of her crew. Her dress is short, and she has on too much make up. I hope she doesn’t think I like that. I parked the Range Rover in the garage so she doesn’t know I’m here. I see here hanging all over the guys from the football and baseball team. I just shake my head and chuckle to myself.

  I gotta go to the bathroom. As I approach the door, I see Addie. I do a quick scan of the area for Keira. Adie is standing, waiting to get into the bathroom. Then I listen to Adie on the phone while I wait behind her. It’s so loud she is covering one ear with her finger and her phone is on the other. All I can hear is, "Are you there?" she listens. "Okay. What’s the hotel...just in case," She listens. "Okay, text it to me and the room number. You’re sure about this right? " She giggles. Then wobbles bracing herself on the door frame as it opens. She has obviously been drinking. "Hey, I gotta go. The bathroom is free. Have fun. Bye Keira."

  Keira? I replay the conversation again in my mind. Hotel? Sure about this?

  When Adie opens the door, she looks at me strangely. She knows I am pissed. I know because she cocks her hip out and places her fist on it. "What?” she asks with too much attitude.

  Okay. So she is pissed too. Keira probably told her about the last time we were at Slone's .

  “Where is Keira?” No use in pretending. If I have to I will drag Adie out of here until she tells me. I will do it. She better get her shit together because I ain’t playin.

  But Adie is tough. She rolls her eyes and tries to side step me. Really? That’s funny. "I am not telling you anything,so move." She places her hands on my chest to shove me. I don't budge.

  " I'm not moving until you tell me where Keira is now. Adie...." My tone is more serious now. I am tired of this game.

  She sighs. "I can’t tell you. I don’t remember exactly." Her words are slurred, and she does a little hiccup. She needs to be cut off for the night. As she says the words,her phone chimes. A text message . I know it’s from Keira. As I reach to snatch the phone from Adie she pulls back and it slips from her hands and falls. We watch it break open and the screen splinter into tiny pieces. "Lane!" She screams.

  I pull out me phone to text Kiera.

  ME: Hey! Addie broke her phone. Just send me the hotel info.

  Nothing.

  I wait.

  I wait.

  ME: keira!

  Nothing.

  I am freaking out a little. I start pacing. Adie is in my ear screaming. I can’t even focus on her words. I know she is causing a scene. Oh great! Rachel knows I'm here now. She's drunk too. Adie lunges at me. She slips. I catch her. My phone rings. Adie is on me like a dog on a bone. Rachel has her evil eye going. The ringing stops.

  Finally, when I get Adie off of me, I ease into the restroom. Adie and Rachel are arguing. Loudly. I checked the missed calls. Kiera. I call her back. No answer. I call again. Voicemail. I text:

  ME: i called you back.

  Nothing.

  I am full blown angry. I open the door and grab Adie by the arm while sending Rachel a scathing it’s time to shut up look. Rachel finally quiets down. I pull Adie into the bathroom. "Where is she Adie? " I feel myself pacing from the sink to the shower. Shower to the sink. She shrugs. She is too drunk to remember. "Think Adie!" I am screaming .Rachel is beating on the door.

  Keira

  I feel sick. Maybe this was a bad idea. Adie knows where I am,but maybe I should call her to come get me. I feel my pockets. Where did my phone go? I look on the bed. This room reeks. It smells like stale beer and cigarettes in here. I feel dizzy.

  The music is too loud. A hand is on my ..."Hey! No. Stop it! "

  Tim is laughing at me. So are his friends. Great! I see my phone. I try to grab it. Tim grabs it first.

  "Who are you calling?"

  My mind is fuzzy but I need to focus. "Adie" I say a little too loudly . My stomach is churning." I need to make sure she tells her mom to call my aunt." Yeah. That sounds believable.

  I watch Tim watching me. He thinks I am lying. I am. He hesitates. "Here," he passes my phone to me.

  It buzzes. I hate the ring tone Lane put on it so I have been keeping it on vibrate, but I don’t want to think about Lane. He says he is my friend. It’s New Year's Eve, and he hasn’t called me in almost a week. He is no doubt with Rachel. I know they are having a good time.

  As I look at my phone, it’s a message from Lane. There are several messages from him. Adie’s phone is broke. Just Great. I am forced to communicate with Lane.

  Tim has his back to me. He is focused on the other girlfriends who look more like strippers. I ease out the door slowly making sure to close it gently. Then I head towards the front desk. It’s closed. I dial the only person I know who will come. It rings and rings.

  I walk towards the street. I am near my old high school. I slide the phone in the pocket of my jeans. I run to the all night diner across the large intersection. I pull the phone out. I have a missed call. I call back. Tears fill my eyes. Please answer.

  Finally, an answer, "Lane," I sob.

  Lane

  I am pushing the Rover as fast as I can. I don’t want a ticket. I need to slow down. She is at the all night diner in a bad part of town. I've been there a few times. It’s scary for me and I am a big guy. All I can picture is my Kiera hurt and afraid. She said she's not hurt ,but she sounds funny.

  Calm down, Bro. She said she wasn’t hurt. I want pummel Tim. I may just do that once I see Keira.

  When I pull up, I see her. She is sitting on the side of the diner crouched down. I open the door and walk over to her. "Where's your coat?" she raises her eyes to meet mine. My heart lurches at the fear in her eyes. I scan her body, "and your shoes?" She is shaking like a leaf.

  She doesn’t move. I can see it coming, so I move back as she vomits all over the cement. She throws up again and again.

  When she stops, I sit her in the passenger seat and run into the diner for napkins. She reeks of cheap liquor. The waitress and other people eating must have seen us. The waitress hands me a hot soapy rag. I quietly thank her.

  When we pull up to Sloan's, Keira is sleeping. How can there be more people here. I gently shake Keira. "Hey. Can you walk in?" she nods. We walk through the garage to the pool house on the opposite end of the pool. Everyone else is in the main house. The key is under the mat. We walk in. Immediately Keira walks to the open door of the restroom. She locks the door and I hear the shower turn on.

  Keira

  I feel gross. I stink. I threw up all over the place in public. What was I thinking? Tim hasn’t even called me. I know he has noticed I am not in the room,or maybe he hasn’t. I can’t believe this night. I just need a shower. I just want a shower.

  I let the water wash away all my yuckiness. There is a robe on the back of the door. When I come out of the restroom, Lane is sitting on the sofa. He has on a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. Clearly , he’s waiting for me. "Are you okay?" he's looking at me with pity. "Do I need to call someone? "

  I chuckle. "I'm fine Lane. Just stupid." I feel a little anger bubble up in my stomach.

  " Really? " he doesn
’t move, but he scans my body. "Are you hurt?"

  "Thanks for your concern. Thank you for picking me up. But really, I'm fine. Tim didn’t hurt me. I just walked out. That’s all." I shrug. I don’t want Lane to worry. I don’t know why I should care. I have not spoken to him in a week.

  I watch as Lane takes a cleansing breath. He's relieved. Then he frowns in anger. "You walked out ?" He's thinking. Hard. I can always tell when he is in deep thought. "Without your shoes or coat? Why?"

  "I don’t know. I was feeling sick and dizzy-"

  "Were you drinking?" He's angry. I have never seen Lane lose his cool. I hope I don’t see it tonight either. I am too tired to deal with his anger.

  I nodded. "I had one drink. You know...to loosen up." Oh crap .I don’t want to cry." I just wanted to not be all stiff. With it being my first time , and … you know. I didn’t want to be that girl. I wanted it to be good for him. "

  "So you drank to have sex with him and..." It sounds so bad when he says it like that.

  "When I felt bad I wanted to call Addie to come get me,but his friends were laughing at me. So I snuck out while they were drinking with those other girls." This sounds bad too.

  "Other girls? Keira! " He is roaring angry at me now.

  " Don’t you yell at me Lane!" I am pissed too. Pissed at Tim and his friends .Pissed because Lane hasn’t called me in a week. Pissed that he has to see me like this. Just pissed. "How can you be angry with me? I was doing what girlfriends do. Just like you and Rachel!" I stomp off to the bedroom in the back.

  Before I can close the door, he is there. His eyes are piercing with anger. "If you have to get drunk to sleep with your boyfriend, Keira.....God Keira, why are you so focused on having sex with him?"

  I feel my body sway. I can feel my buzz leaving. Lane is there holding my arm. He holds me close to his body. He smells like heaven. I look up and his eyes are focused on my lips again. I can’t seem to break the spell. I am staring at his lips as his licks them. He lowers his head. I can feel his breath on my lips. He feels so warm. My body is buzzing and tingling all over. I reach up to touch his cheek as I rise up on my tip toes. My heart is racing like crazy. I wonder if Rachel still feels like this when he is this close. Rachel? Wait. No. I turn my head and back away. The spell is broken. Lane is not mine.

  He seems disappointed. But only says, "You need to eat."

  "How do you know?" I slowly pull my arm away. "You don't drink."

  "No,I don't. I don't need to drink. Drinking causes people to make bad choices. I have seen enough drunk people to know what to do. Come on. Slone's folks keep a lot of food in the fridge." He grabs my hand and pulls me to the bar stool.

  Lane sits fruit and nuts out for me to munch on. Then he heats a pizza in the microwave. I eat in silence while he watches. He is working to hold his anger at bay. I don’t understand how he can be so angry. He has Rachel. I am all alone as usual. When I finally finish, I stand silently and I go to the bedroom.

  The countdown to the New Year is blasting on the TV from the living room. I can hear and see drunk kids screaming. I bury my head deeper. Happy new year to me, huh?

  Lane

  It Spring break! This year is almost over. My dad and mom are acting weird. Well ...weirder than usual. My dad has called me and my gramps to a meeting in his office.

  Slone and I are driving to Florida for the week. I am packed, and this meeting is my last stop before I leave for the week. Of course, Rachel and her crew are tagging along.

  My dad and Gramps are already there when I arrive. I have not seen Gramps in a few weeks. After the playoffs and championship, I have been focused on school. The recruiters are already hounding. The coaches and local media are hounding. I need a break. This little town is like a fishbowl.

  My dad looks at me like I am in trouble. I am running a list of things I have done in my mind lately. I haven’t really partied, as much as I party, since Keria and I had words on New Year’s Eve. We have not really spent time together outside of school. It hurts to think about her. I miss her, but she seems so annoyed with me. I can’t think about her now. Not with my dad zeroing in on me.

  "Well, I’ve made a decision." He announces. This is not going to be good. “I am running for mayor.” The room is covered in silence and confusion.

  "Where did this come from?” My gramps asks before I can speak.

  " I know that it may come as a surprise, but I think I could do the city some good. Plus, you," He's staring at me now, "Can go ahead and commit to state university while your mom and I can tap into the alum for campaign donations " He's nodding. That means the decision is already made.

  "Son," my gramps snaps his attention back on the subject at hand," I don’t think that is a good idea. There could be a lot of mudslinging and dirt digging...."

  "Susanne and I are in counseling, so we are working on our issues. We are not walking into this lightly." He explains.

  "So mom is on board with this?" I ask.

  "Of course."

  "What if I am not or don't choose state university?" I hate that I am attached to this process in any way.

  My father levels me with his look. "Oh, you will go," he walks around the desk. " And Rachel too." He makes sure I understand where this is going.

  "I have to go. Slone is waiting. Tell mom I will call her when I get to the beach house." I stand.

  My Gramps follows me. "Lane, wait.” I stop only because it’s him. My dad won’t follow me. I know he doesn’t care that I am upset or that I don’t want to be with Rachel, but we are sharing a beach house for the week. Well, all our friends are anyway. It’s my parents’ and my mom insisted that Rachel and her friends needed a place to stay. At least we know she is safe if you guys are there. Mom knows I don’t party. Secretly, she is hoping Rachel and I become a solid couple over this week.

  I stop so I can talk to Gramps. "Hey, I love you and you be careful hanging out with that girl. " He’s emphasizing the hanging out part. He knows that Rachel will do anything. "Lane, I am serious. This girl and her mother have a plan. You are her cash cow. Watch yourself." I nod. My Gramps pulls me into a hug. He is the only one that still hugs me. I need it right now. My future has been decided. I wasn’t even part of the discussion.

  Keira

  I should stop looking. Rachel has posted every pic of her and Lane on her profile page from the day they went to the beach house to the day they returned to school. I want to look away. But I keep looking. They look like a happy couple. They are a happy couple. I slam the library's laptop close.

  I know I shouldn’t feel anything for him, but I think my friendship has become a major crush maybe love. I’ve decided to put a little distance between us. Since the New Year’s Eve situation, I think that is best.

  We still have a few classes together but we don't hang out or text that much. Since he won the state championship with a last minute touchdown pass, he seems to be bombarded with colleges recruiting him. His dad's alma mater seems to be recruiting the heaviest.

  Right now, I am looking at Lane and Rachel get in the Rover. She is all over him. She literally is sucking his tongue in the front seat. I can see his discomfort. I chuckle to myself when I hear someone clear their throat.

  "It's gross I know. But that’s just Rachel," Slone laughs. "She’s like a kid with a shiny new toy. She wants everyone to know it’s hers. "

  Just then I hear the deep baseline of the music blasting from the Rover, Lane stops in front of us. Rachel is jerking her body to the rhythm. She looks like she might slip a disc any minute. "What’s up Slone?" Rachel yells over the music.

  Slone throws his head up to acknowledge her.

  "Y'all make a cute couple. Don't they babe?" She smiles sweetly .Well, as sweet as Rachel can be.

  Lane looks from me to his best friend and back to me . Then he shrugs nonchalantly.

  Slone grabs me around the shoulder playfully, "Well you know all the ladies love me, right?" Then he smooches my cheek loudly. I giggle and try to pu
ll away but he hoists me up over his large shoulder caveman style as the Rover skids away.

  "Put me down. You are such a dope." I laugh even harder.

  "But you love me don't you?" He tickles my side. "You know you love Slone. "

  "Okay....okay. I surrender. I love Slone. "I concede. I really do love him. He is the big brother that everyone needs. Strong and safe.

  " If you love me,you'll go to prom with me. " He says all serious.

  "What?" My laughter subsides.